A little boy from my neighborhood rushed into our house with tears streaming down his flushed face, and slammed the door behind him. He limped into the living room, and before I could even ask him what happened, he showed me a bright purple mark on his thigh where a dog had just bit him. Thankfully it was only a nip.
The boy’s name is “Jared.” He’s one of my daughter’s favorite friends, and he lives down the street from us. I walked him back home, and we were greeted by his mother. When she heard the story, her face contorted, and she frantically wrapped her arms around Jared, hugging him tightly. Then she thanked me, and whisked her son away to tend to his wound.
Later in the afternoon, I called to check up on Jared, and got the report that he was just fine, but his mother was still agitated and furious. She’d been calling the dog-owner for three hours, leaving messages, asking if the dog’s immunizations were up-to-date, and she hadn’t yet gotten a response. The mom shouted loudly over the phone at me: “How can this woman ignore my messages, Chris? She’s a mom with young children of her own! What kind of a human being is she?”
And that’s the question I want to pose to you: What do you imagine was the intention behind her delayed response, and what kind of a person do you imagine her to be?
Do you think her failure to call back was maliciously-intended? Do you assume she was attempting to avoid conflict? Do you immediately imagine the dog-owner to be a cold-hearted or uncaring individual?
On the other hand, do you consider the possibility that, for some reason, the dog-owner hadn’t yet even received the voice mail message—and that her failure to respond wasn’t intentional in any way?
And what does the story reveal about the mother’s mindset and assumptions?
People who are hard-wired to assume negative intent about the world in general will likely conclude that any undesired circumstance (involving the actions of others) are motivated by ill will, in some form or fashion.
Conversely, those who habitually give people the benefit of the doubt are far less inclined to jump to negative conclusions about the actions of those involved in unpleasant circumstances.
The fact is, I didn’t relay enough details for you to come to any accurate conclusions about the intentions of dog-owner’s delayed communication. Even so, it’s likely you made some assumptions based on the limited information I did present. We all harbor baseline beliefs about the intentions of others, and our assumptions, for the most part, are buried in our subconscious minds, affecting our attitudes and the way we respond to various situations.
In the context of business, when a prospective client doesn’t return your calls or emails, what are your first thoughts? Do you think they’re not interested, or that they don’t want to be bothered with you? Maybe you assume they didn’t like your proposal, or that they found your services to be overpriced. Perhaps you imagine they don’t like you, personally?
What you might not realize is that these kinds of negative assumptions have a ripple effect, and can erode confidence in your ability to perform your job well, overall. You will likely second-guess the value of your product, and habitually skip following-up with any prospects who fail to respond immediately to your outreach. (Note: With this kind of default mindset, if your job involves sales, you won’t be keeping it very long.)
On the other hand, if you’re more positively-slanted in your beliefs about people’s intentions, your inner dialogue will be wildly different if there’s a delay in hearing back on a proposal. You might imagine your email had been overlooked. (“It happens all the time!”) Or you might assume the prospect is totally interested in talking to you, but was, perhaps, faced with an urgent situation that kept them from getting back to you. You might even tell yourself, “They’re probably busy figuring out how to finance the deal!”
If these positive possibilities are in keeping with your default mindset, you’ll be way more inclined to reach back to your prospects. Your optimistic attitude might even be the key element that ultimately wins them over!
My point is this: It is well worth cultivating a positive mindset when it comes to people’s intentions. It can absolutely change how you interact with other human beings, personally and professionally, and over time, it will shape how you see the world.
Here is a follow-up on the dog-owner’s failure to respond promptly to Jared’s mother. This may or may not confirm the assumptions that came to mind when you first heard the story:
The dog-owner is a surgical nurse, and she couldn’t respond to the voice mail messages because she was in the operating room, saving someone’s life. She was effusively apologetic to the mom.
